11 Pet Hates of a Bartender
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
1. HAVE YOUR ORDER READY WHILE AT A BUSY BAR
If you've been waiting in a queue, how have you not had time to think about what you want? If everyone knew what they wanted, instead of 'umming' and 'ahhing' once they finally make it to the bar, they'd all get served a lot quicker!
2. JUST A GENERAL ORDER - " I'LL HAVE A BEER"
OK, great! But we have 5 on tap and several bottled options too - erm, which one?
3. FLICKING YOUR MONEY AT US LIKE DRAKE IN A STRIP CLUB
You're not Drake. And you're probably not in a strip club.
(Even if you are ... just, no!)
4. REACHING OVER THE BAR
When you reach over the bar, you invade our personal space. This is not endearing behaviour and it will not get you served any faster.
5. NOT TIPPING - YOU TIGHT BASTARD!
There are no words - curse or otherwise.
6. IF YOU ASK FOR A SURPRISE, I'LL PUNCH YOU!
It's not big, it's not clever and it won't be the kind of surprise you were hoping for. Stop wasting our time (see number 1!)
7. TRYING TO BRIBE US AFTER LAST CALL
If we serve you after hours, we risk losing our job, getting fined, losing the liquor licence that the company has etc. etc. It's not worth it and there is no bribe big enough. (We don't care if you compliment us or if you're extremely hot - the answer is still no)!
8. STOP WAVING AT ME
We see you. We do. And we'll serve you as soon as we can!
9. DON'T ASK ME TO LIST EVERY SINGLE BEER, READ THE DAMN MENU!
Its right there! Its been there the entire time you've been waiting! (Again ... see number 1.)
10. TELLING ME HOW TO MAKE THE COCKTAIL ... WHY?
It's a little offensive, potentially embarrassing and could be slightly condescending - It's not my first time y'know. (And even if it is, thanks but I need to learn this for myself - you won't always be there when I have to make this cocktail - please just be a little patient with me!)
11. CLICKING YOUR FINGERS
Are. You. Serious?? Well done, you just gained yourself an extra half hour of waiting time, because I will now serve every last person in the bar before I serve you!
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